Pretty but Unpretty
by BigTimeOT4
Summary: James feels insecure... R&R, i suck at summaries :P


**So, this for my Jer-bear! He brought me this idea and well… YEAH! XD This is for you Jeremy! *huggles***

**Disclaimer: Nooooot mine…. Yet.**

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_James POV_

_I wish I could tie you up in my shoes_

_Make you feel unpretty too_

_I was told I was beautiful_

_But what does that mean to you_

_Look into the mirror who's inside there?_

_The one with the long hair_

_Same old me again today_

I was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror. I observed my reflection closely, taking in every inch of my face. From my perfect combed hair, over my cheekbones down to my lips and my chin. I've always been told I was beautiful. Even by him. For him I was only the pretty boy, obsessed with his looks. That's what everyone thinks when they hear the name James Diamond. But no one ever considers that there's more than just The Face.

_My outsides are cool_

_My insides are blue_

_Everytime I think I'm through_

_It's because of you_

_I've tried different ways_

_But it's all the same_

_At the end of the day_

_I have myself to blame_

_I'm just trippin'_

No one ever thinks about what could be behind this perfect mask. Why would they? I'm a great actor. I acted perfectly fine when my parents divorced, even though it shredded my heart into pieces. I knew it was my fault. They always got arguments because of me. Every single night they screamed at each other. My father always told my mother what a failure I was, that he'd rather had a girl than me.

_You can buy your hair if it won't grow_

_You can fix your nose if you say so_

_You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make_

_But if you can't look inside you_

_Find out who am I to_

_Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty_

_I feel pretty_

_Oh, so pretty_

_I feel pretty and witty and bright_

I tried everything to make them happy, I let my hair grow to look more feminine, I even applied some make up! But that never changed that my parents hated me. My dad because I was a boy, and my mom because I was the reason she and dad always fought. Nevertheless I had a lot of self esteem, not really caring about what other people thought. I was raised like that.

_Never insecure until I met you_

_Now I'm being stupid_

_I used to be so acute to me_

_Just a little bit skinny_

_Why do I look to all these things_

_To keep you happy_

_Maybe get rid of you_

_And then I'll get back to me (hey)_

We've been friends since kindergarten, and you never really paid any attention to what I was doing. Ever since then I was trying everything to gain your attention. You're part of the reason I started changing so much. You never noticed… Even when we moved to LA, you started dating Jo. And when she went away, I did everything to make you happy… I should move on and let go of you, but I can't… I fell too hard for you to let go.

_My outsides look cool_

_My insides are blue_

_Everytime I think I'm through_

_It's because of you_

_I've tried different ways_

_But it's all the same_

_At the end of the day_

_I have myself to blame_

_Keep on trippin'_

I sighed and went over to the window, looking down at the pool. You're sitting there on a lounger, talking to Logan, your new love interest. I couldn't understand it… I mean, Logan is really cool and our best friend too, but how could you choose him over me? I do everything to make you happy, but it was no use… I'm losing you again. All my tries were useless. With my parents, and with you.

_You can buy your hair if it won't grow_

_You can fix your nose if you say so_

_You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make_

_But if you can't look inside you_

_Find out who am I to_

_Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty_

_I feel pretty_

_Oh, so pretty_

_I feel pretty and witty and bright_

_And I pity_

_Any girl who isn't me tonight_

I can do what I want, but I won't be better… It won't ever be enough. But I can't let myself fall into that hole again. I have to move on. I have to LIVE again and forget about the past. I'm James Diamond, for God's sake! I'm all good!

_Oh, oh, oh, oh oh (Tonight)_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (Tonight)_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (Tonight)_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_I feel pretty (You can buy your hair if it won't grow)_

_Oh so pretty (You can fix your nose if you say so)_

_I feel pretty and witty and bright (You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can _

_make)_

_But if you can't look inside you_

_Find out who am I to_

_Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty_

I threw on my lucky v-neck and some dark jeans and gave my mirror a last sad smile before walking down to the pool. I sat down on Logan's previous place. You're all happy and excited. I smiled at you and you told me you were together with Logan now. I patted your shoulder. "Congrats, Kendall… I'm happy for you."

_I feel pretty_

_But unpretty_

**THE END**


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